It’s strange how tightly the past can hold on to us. How easy it is to look back and compare. I do it often. I remember how things used to be – how everything came naturally, how my body worked without me thinking, and how I could fill a day without worrying about running out of energy. That time feels both far away and close at the same time. I still have one foot there, in the past. In everything familiar, in the rhythm I once had.
Sometimes the longing hits hard – because there are so many things I took for granted.
Strength.
Clarity.
Peace of mind.
A body that simply did what I asked of it.
But I also have one foot in the future. That’s where hope lives. That’s where I picture what can still be – maybe not like before, but still good, still mine. I’ve learned that the future doesn’t have to be a copy of the past to be worth looking forward to. It can be different, and still be beautiful.
Most days, I live between those two feet. One planted in the memory of who I was, the other trying to balance who I am now. Sometimes I feel stuck in between – looking back too long or too far ahead. But maybe that’s okay. How can you completely let go of something that shaped you so deeply? How can you not miss a version of yourself that once had more to give?
I try to use the past as a guide, not a chain. It reminds me of what I’ve been capable of – but also that I need to be gentle with myself now. Because the person I was then didn’t face the same challenges I do today. And the person I am now has learned things the old me never knew. I try to find peace in that. That life isn’t about becoming the same again – it’s about discovering how to be yourself in a new way. That it’s not weakness to miss what once was – it’s strength to keep moving forward anyway.
Because even if one foot is still in the past, I know exactly where the other one is going.
Forward.
Always forward.
– Mats
💭 “Small steps are still progress – even when no one else sees them.”
✨ “Not every day has to be good – but there’s something good in every day.”
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